This is my first Pokémon fic ever. For the record, I'm gonna call them Pokemon, without the é, 'cos I get sick of typing it all the time. ^_^. I have absolutely nooo idea where I'm going with this, but I hope you enjoy it anyway. ^_^.

For the record, neko means cat, Togepi is this cute little (too cute, if you ask me) baby egg sort of Pokemon that belongs to Misty, and -tachi is a Japanese suffix that is used to make something plural.

If you use that suffix with a person's name, it means that person and co. I mostly just use it for Ash-tachi which means Ash and whoever he's with (usually Misty, Brock and Pikachu). Since Jessie, James and Meowth can all be grouped together just by saying Team Rocket, I wanted to be able to give a name to Ash's group, so I just call 'em Ash-tachi. ^_^.

"Cinnabar Island, Cinnabar Island. Cinnabar Island, Cinnabar Island. Where are you, Cinnabar Island, Cinnabar Island..."

"Pika Pi!"

"Shut up, Ash! Can't you think about anything else?"

"How CAN I think about anything else? We've been on the road there for the last fortnight!"

"Uh, you two... I hate to break it to you, but I think we might be lost..."

Surprise, surprise...

I Can't Think Of Decent Fanfic Titles To Save My Life
by Leto
Part 1

Our story begins with three - "PIKA!" - okay, four travellers and a fight. For a long time, Ash has been on a journey to become a Pokemon Master. But some minor problems tend to creep in the way of this commendable aspiration. Namely, the fact that neither Ash, Misty, Brock or Pikachu can read a map to save their lives.

Ash yells at the narrator "That doesn't matter! Such trifling things won't get in MY way! I'm gonna be the very best! My Pokemon will be the strongest ever! I'll become a renowned Pokemon Master! I'll get the seventh badge! And I'll -"

Ash's little tirade is broken off as he trips over a large stick and inelegantly goes crashing down into the dirt. If this is the future of the Pokemon League... well, things are looking grim.

"You wrote that stick in there on purpose!"

Neverrrr... ^_^.

"You're too sarcastic!"

No, I believe you will become a great Pokemon master. After all, you've caught an entire seven Pokemon - well, nine Pokemon but you gave one away and one went off with its girlfriend - half of which weren't even caught, while your rivals are on, like, 60 Pokemon apiece or something...

"Misty, Brock, can we find a new author for this thing?"

"I dunno Ash," smirks Misty, "I think the narrator has a point."

"Toge!" agrees Togepi from its place in Misty's arms.

"See, Ash? Togepi agrees with me!"

"Togepi agrees with you all the time. Since you stole it from me in the first -"

"I didn't steal it! It's not my fault I have such an incredible knack with Pokemon!"

"That 'incredible knack' was dumb luck, you pulled it out of my hands!"

Brock and Pikachu both get sweatdrops to hear Ash and Misty fighting again, but this time, instead of bothering to try break up the fight, they just keep walking, and leave Ash and Misty behind...

Brock and Pikachu are safely away from the quabbling, with sanity intact, and they both heave sighs of relief. Of course, something has to happen next, so for lack of anything better to write, Pikachu's ears twitch as it notices a rustling in the trees.

"Pikachu?" it inquires thoughtfully, pointing up at the tree. Brock frowns slightly as the tree rocks and a few (dozen) stray leaves abandon ship. The commotion stops after a moment, Brock and Pikachu shrug and look as though they are about to continue walking.

Suddenly, three familiar figures crash down from the tree and land in front of Brock. (Well, two of them land in front of Brock. One lands right on his head.)

"Ow!" cries Brock, now lying flat on the ground with someone on his back. "What on Earth..."

"Thanks for breaking my fall."

Brock looks up into the cold eyes of James.

Jessie scowls. "I need to practise my aim. I shoulda landed on the Pikachu."

"What do you guys want?"

Instead of giving a straight answer, Team Rocket predictably launch into:

"Prepare for trouble!"

"Make it double!"

"To protect the world from devastation."

"To unite all peoples within our nation."

Jessie's melodramatic poses are made somewhat less imposing by the fact that she's covered with dirt and has leaves stuck in her hair.

"To denounce the evils of truth and love."

"To extend our reach to the stars above."

Brock rolls his eyes. 'As if I don't know who they are by now,' he thinks.


Jessie smacks Brock over the head for rolling his eyes.


James didn't see Brock roll his eyes but smacks him over the head anyway.

"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!"

"Blast off is right..."

"Shut up! Don't interrupt! Surrender now or prepare to fight!"

"Meoooouch, that's right."


Meowth, who had unfortunately landed underneath Jessie ("DO YOU IMPLY THAT I WEIGHT A LOT?!") was now an unhappy looking Pokemon.

"Your speech is giving me a headache," growls Meowth.

"Hey, we're in full agreement for once!" grins Brock.

Jessie and James scowl. "You're not taking us seriously," says James.

"Big mistake," says Jessie.

Brock replies, oozing with sincerity, "Oh, I'm so sorry, it's just difficult to take seriously a guy who always dresses up as a girl and a team who steals an egg and then leaves a trail of broken eggs to their hideout..."

"I didn't drop them!" yell Jessie and James in unison.

"And so what if I like to dress up as a - er, I mean, have to disguise myself as a girl?"

"So anyway," Brock tries to get them back on track, as he doesn't really want to know about James, "now that you've done your little speech, could you give me a straight answer, what are you doing here?"

"For your information," scowls James, "We were bird watching!"

"Bird watching!" scoffs Brock, "You jumped on top of me!"

"So what if I like to jump on cute guys?"

Brock gets a big sweatdrop. "I really, REALLY did not want to know that."

"Huh! Anyway, we're not here for the Pikachu, we really were bird watching!" says Jessie. "Articuno was sighted near the Cinnabar Islands."

"Wouldn't that be tasty!" grins Meowth, with natural neko-instinct. ^_^.

Jessie thwaps him over the head "We're not going to EAT it, you have no appreciation for beautiful rare Pokemon at all!"

"Neither do you, you just steal them all the time!" replies Meowth.

"Are we near Cinnabar Islands then?" asks Brock, interrupting what could become a messy scene.

Jessie rolls her eyes and moves towards a bush. Seperating the leaves, she reveals the ocean sparkling not far from where our heroes (er, I mean, Team Rocket) are standing.

"Pika pika!" says Pikachu excitedly, it's getting a bit sick of walking lost all the time. And it just had to speak up since it doesn't seem to be getting enough screen time in this fic.

Well, sue me if I like Team Rocket. ^_^. And forgive me if Pikachu can't exactly deliver stirring quotes.

Pikachu sticks out its tongue. (Very cute. ^_^.)

Hearing Pikachu, the two idiots ("HEY!") from before come tumbling onto the scene. (Literally. Methinks they were having some sort of wrestling match/catfight.)

"There you are!" cries Ash. "Finally!"

"Yeah, Ash was worried 'cos I was winning!"

"I was not, I was winning!"

Brock replies in a dry voice "So this is what happens when no-one breaks up your fights. What happened to Togepi?"

"Togepi!" they both screech in unison and race back to where poor Togepi is sitting, looking dazed and alone.

They race back and suddenly notice Team Rocket. (Ash-tachi are not renowned for brilliant brainpower.)

"YOU!" yells Ash. "What are YOU doing here?"

It would seem that poor Ash-tachi suffer from terrible cliches with their words.

"We have names, you know," sulks James, "Very nice names. You needn't call us "YOU" all the time."

"Yes, it hurts our feelings," sulks Jessie, "It makes us feel like we're not important enough to be called by our proper names."

James and Jessie start bawling and clutch at each other. Ash gets a little sweatdrop and says "Gee, uh, sorry, I didn't realise you guys felt that strongly about it."

The two stop crying instantly and get nasty grins on their faces.

"No problem!"

"Of course not!"

"Prepare for trouble!"

"Make it -"

"MAKE IT STOP!" yells Brock, "Enough already, I just suffered through the speech. I can't handle any more poses."

Jessie and James stop and stare at Ash with malice in their eyes. Well, Jessie has malice in her eyes, James has an eyelash in his eye.

"Ow ow ow ow! Get it out!" whimpers James. Jessie gets a sweatdrop, WHY does her partner have to be such a coward?

"Okay, hold still." She peeks into his eye (meanwhile, Ash-tachi are just standing around waiting for Team Rocket to remember they're there and do something) and sees the eyelash.

"AHHHH!" You'd think James was at the dentist or something. "Don't TOUCH my eye! You'll kill me!"

"HOW am I supposed to get the eyelash out without touching your eye?"

"I don't know!"

Ash is getting so fed up with this whole deal that he pulls out a Pokeball, and in a jiffy Squirtle is sqirting water in James' face.

10 seconds later, James is sputtering, angry and soaking wet. But at least his eye's okay.

"You want to fight?" he snarls, "Well, you've initiated it this time. Weezing, go!"

Okay... thinks Ash confusedly... if I started a fight somehow... boy, they must really be looking to pick fights today...

"You'll never get my Pikachu!" he yells.

"A fine speech and brave words indeed," smiles Jessie.

"Too bad we don't WANT your stupid Pikachu!" smiles James.

"Kachu!" Pikachu protests about being called stupid.

Naturally, Ash focuses on the least relevant part of James' sentence. "Pikachu is NOT stupid! How dare you call it that? And..." (finally realising what was said) "You don't want to steal it? WHY NOT?! What's wrong with my Pikachu that you wouldn't want to steal it?"

Team Rocket get sweatdrops. "Never satisfied," sighs Meowth and the other two nod blankly. Weezing realises its being ignored completely so sneaks back into its ball when James isn't watching. (Hey, it doesn't want to stand around and listen to everyone's constant bickering.)

Brock, who hasn't gotten a line in a while, suddenly says "What is the point of this fanfic, nothing has actually happened. Usually in the show, the plot has opened up and we can see what might happen before Team Rocket comes. But now they've shown up and we're still standing around doing what we do in the first three minutes of an episode; walk around or argue or both."

"Well," says James, "WE'RE here for the legendary Articuno, I don't know about you guys."

"What's an Articuno?" asks Ash. For someone who wants to be a Pokemon Master, he really doesn't know anything at all. Maybe he should play the Game Boy for a few minutes. ^_^;;

Ash pulls out his Pokedex, which informs him in a dry, unimpressed sort of voice (I bet Dexter gets fed up with being asked what a Pokemon is every single time Ash sees something he doesn't recognise) that Articuno is an ice/flying Pokemon that's one of three legendary birds and of course, that no further information is available. (Useless thing. Like I said Ash, buy a Game Boy.)

"That's right," says Jessie, "And we've already caught the other two! Hahahahahaha!"

"You have?" Ash-tachi ask in unison, looking awed.

"Not really," says James, "It just SOUNDED impressive."


"I'd like to see this Articuno," muses Misty, "It sounds beautiful."

"Gepi!" agrees Togepi.

"I know, why don't we all go together?" asks Ash brightly.

Boy, this sounds like a good idea.

Everyone gives a sort of squawk. And yell "Go with THEM?!" in unison.

Then Jessie smiles. "Well, if we go with them, it'll give us the chance to be in the story more."

James grins too. "We'll be in all the scenes."

The two laugh evilly. Meowth just looks slightly ill, but agrees to come after seeing Togepi.

"All the scenes, all the scenes!" Jessie and James chant. "After all, they can't have a fanfic without focusing on the main characters, and now they can't show the main characters without us!"

Shut up.

"No Pokemon fanfic can ignore us AND the main characters, so now we'll be in all the scenes, all the scenes!" ^_^ ^_^

We interrupt this story to bring you - A Day in the Life of Nurse Joy. ("AAAH! No! Bring us back! Anything but that!") As proof that you can have a Pokemon fanfic without starring Ash-tachi or Team Rocket, this new piece will feature fascinating insights into the day-to-day routine of everyone's favourite ("STOP! ENOUGH! We're sorry!")

Back to the story...

"Yeah! They can't go without us too long!"

Nurse Joy rubbed her tired eyes. It seemed as though she had gotten hardly any sleep at all, but she knew she had to get up. There were lots of sick Pokemon that needed her help, and for some reason there never seemed to be any other employees at Pokecenters besides her.


Not another word?


Somehow, Ash gets Misty and Brock to agree to hanging out with Team Rocket and the unlikely comrades head towards the ocean...

To be continued... (if I should decide to write a second part, that is)

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